My 2nd Chance at Life

There are many sign posts in our life which move us to a spiritually deeper place. The entry of each of my children and grandchildren have all done that in my life. December 9, 2013 is a day that has given my heart new eyes to see and love. The day dawned as a typical day, but within minutes of waking I was in the clutches of what could have been the last moments of my earthly life. I knew I was dying, and as I looked through my house, my main focus was to get to the bathroom and not die in front of the Christmas tree. My vision tunneled and shadowed, as if there was a shortage of light bulbs in the house. I must have been on wings of angels to arrive in the bathroom, and hear my cell phone ringing there. It was my husband, who called for an ambulance. As I was rolled out our front door on the gurney, I remember looking at the ceiling and thinking this is the last time I will go through this door. The 20 miles to the hospital in the ambulance was filled with multiple attempts to start an IV, but I was in a conversation with God. “Please let me live, forgive me for not wanting to join you yet” over and over again. All I could think of was my family. I just didn’t want to leave them yet. The rest of the time and the arrival at the ER is a dreamlike recollection of more IV attempts, faces of my family, doctors, nurses and then the large hands of an EMT attempting to start an IV in the jugular vein in my neck. As I turned my head to the side, I don’t even remember the puncture and IV, but my mind went to a beautiful beach scene, warm, water gently lapping at the sand. I remembered words from CS Lewis about death being like leaving one shore and heading toward another. I wondered with no fear if this was my shore of departure. Fading in and out, I was told I had pulmonary embolisms in both lungs, my heart was enlarged trying to do its job, and I had clots in both legs. My husband was told there was a good chance I would not make it. Eventually I was taken up to ICU with an IV bag of liquid clot buster (don’t know the professional name of it) going into my veins. All of this time, I felt dreamlike, floating in a warm cocoon of what I now know was the peace of God that surpasses all understanding. To make a long story short, I am alive! I have been given a second chance for life, for joy, for love, for everything! There is not a day that goes by but I think about this could be my last day, or the last day of a friend or loved one. When the day comes that I am just a memory, I want my life to have been a fragrance of love and friendship to those whose path has crossed mine. And as I keep on this journey, I ask that God continue to do His work through me in loving others, and to do so with a grateful heart. So, just as you , moment by moment, day by day we continue on this path of life. There are still mountains and valleys, but we are never alone as we make our way to our day of departure.