This week I attended a memorial service for a 34 year old man. He was a son, a brother, a husband, a father of 3, and a friend to many. There were complications from what should have been an out patient routine surgery. Why do things like this happen? Why has my best friend buried 2 of her 4 children? Why did my 6 month old niece go to bed with sniffles almost 30 years ago and die during the night of a fast acting pneumonia? Why did my friend lose her 6 yr old son to a brain stem tumor. There are no answers to these questions, on this side of eternity anyway. The Bible tells us that our days are numbered, and that in itself should give us pause to evaluate where we are in life. And to those who do not believe in God or heaven, you still know that one day, when you least expect, you will kiss this world goodbye. December 9th of last year, I was given a second chance at life. The odds of surviving were against me, but each day since is a gift. At the memorial service this week, I watched a family in pain. Everyone who loved this man had a broken heart and many tears were shed. But they knew he also had loved them, and to my knowledge there were no big regrets or things left unsaid. I left there determined to love my family, friends and those I come in contact with each day to know without a doubt that they have all left an imprint on my life. I do not want my last breath to have any regrets of not having said what I want to. I want my children to pause and think about if that would have been their sibling in the casket, would there be regret? I want my friends to ponder this thought with their own families, their friends, siblings. What petty things have come between us, what gossip has been shared, what pride has kept us from making the first move of reconciliation? These are the kind of questions we CAN find answers to. And these are the burdens we can release from ourselves and others. Two things we know for sure in this life, a time to be born and a time to die. Love each other fiercely, put pettiness aside, forgive even if the offender has not repented or asked for it. Life is short. Let’s make it as sweet as we can.
Coffee with Cindy 
Hi Cindy,
I know your beautiful daughter Reville. She is truly a beautiful human being, you & your husband did an amazing job! I have followed you on FB for quit some time having no idea you had this blog. You write beautifully,I went back a read some other postings.
Trish Workman is a good friend of mine as many who know her would say. Her brothers death was an incredible sad for so many. You wrote beautifully in your “urgent plea”. I so appreciated your thoughts! My dad passed away 12 years ago ( gosh it seems like yesterday, a lot of live had happened since) suddenly of a blood clot when he was just 52 & I was pregnant with my daughter. Even though it was a devastating shock to all of us kids, I’m the oldest of 4 & my mother I can honestly say that there was nothing left unsaid. This has brought me great peace over the years even when I miss my dad the most, such as when my daughter was born, or we moved to a new house my father never saw, when I am trying to teach my son how to play defense better in football or when I was diagnosised with advanced stage cancer. There is real peace in that.
The only thing I would add to what you said is that it takes time invested into a relationship & work to maintain it to be able to say “there is nothing left unsaid”. It’s inconvenient at times, takes a forgiving heart, compassion (especially when it comes to family), & take intentional dedicated time, but oh SO SO worth it!! I too have come face to face with my mortality & have since had a lot of time to ponder how I would like to live out my second chance at life (given through the Grace of God). I couldn’t agree more that we are in control of that legacy in which we leave. When you spoke of pride keeping us from reconciliation I thought it was so important. You are right indeed that we can have control over that!
Thank you for saying what you said & using what happened to Branden to make this point.
Warmest Thanks,
Tonnie Bules
I was at that funeral too, and this reflection is beautiful. Thank you for writing it, and may richly God bless you!