One year ago today I was in the ER barely clinging to life. Many of you know my story of double pulmonary embolisms a year after a car accident that has left me with some issues from a traumatic brain injury. All of this is intermingled with caring for my elderly father for seven years, his worsening dementia and my inability to continue caring for him. Placing him in a nursing home was one of the hardest things I have had to do. Have I been happy with all of this? No. But through these past two years when I have been broken in body and spirit, I have found what JOY is by becoming more intimately acquainted with the Author of my life. He is the Author of my story, and my burden is not so heavy when I trust Him with it. Is this easy to do? No. But when I daily, sometimes multiple times a day, communicate my frustrations, anger, depression to God, there is that flicker of Joy that awakens and burns within me. God did not do these things to me, but they have been allowed in my story, and everyday there is something that I am able to see and understand with new eyes of who I am now. The colors and sounds of nature are so beautiful, the sound of the voices of those I love are music to my soul, the faces and smiles of my friends are priceless gifts.  As I was rolled out the front door of our home on a gurney last Dec. 9th, my thought was I am dying. I will never see this doorway again, never set foot in my home again. Never see my family again. Now, everytime I go through that front door I remember that and I am so thankful for life. When our family was all together for Thanksgiving, my heart was full of gratitude and thanks for another holiday to be together. But with that is the realization that anyone of us may not be at the next one. Our days are numbered. Our lives must be lived out with love and those we love need to hear it. Rid your life of grudges, petty arguments, unkind words. I had an elderly relative that at 85 years of age was still talking about a grudge held for 65 years! What a waste. My life story is unique to me, and many of you have endured far more suffering in your story. Maybe the loss of a child, abuse, being paralyzed and the list goes on. I certainly do not have the constant joy mastered. It is a lifetime of taking those moments of being still and listening to the whispers of God all around us.  But understanding that true Joy has nothing to do with our circumstances lightens our load and eventually our countenance will be that of joy. Eternity starts when we are born, and a very small part of it is our earthly journey. Make it a journey of joy. If you are reading this and have a heavy burden, my prayers for you are carried with this blog. We are all on this journey together.